Judgment Day

Today has been a difficult day. The Prop. 8 ruling hit me a lot harder than I had expected.

What has hurt me more are the significant number of people--some of them friends--online today who have managed to vilify me for CARING about Prop. 8. There are people who think that because I care about civil marriage equality, that because I have and will continue to volunteer my free time on Maine's civil marriage equality campaign, that must mean that somehow I DON'T CARE about the thousands of LGBTQQA (and etc, I can't remember all the letters at this time of night/day) who:
Can't afford health care
Can't get a reasonable job at a living wage
Can't afford housing or get denied housing
Are murdered or beaten or raped or otherwise victims of hate crimes
Can't get proper HIV/AIDS education, medication, and research
Try to or "succeed" at committing suicide because they feel no other option is open for them any more.

NEWS FLASH:
I care. I care a whole fucking goddamned lot.

Yes, people are dying. No, civil marriage equality isn't going to save any lives. And yes, UHC, affordable housing, living wages, aids prevention and research, organizations supporting and defending queer and trans youth will all save countless lives. AND I ADVOCATE FOR THESE CAUSES AS WELL.

No, it is not more important for me to have the option of marriage than it is to combat what is basically a government-and-society based systematic mass murder.

Yes, my first girlfriend was raped and brutally murdered by her uncle because she was gay.
Yes, I've been raped and beaten by someone who was trying to make me straight (as if that were possible).
Yes, I know and have known queer people who have tried to commit or "succeeded" at committing suicide.
Yes, I know queer people with HIV/AIDS.
Yes, I've attempted suicide numerous times (so many I've lost count, actually).
YES, I CARE.

I'm not putting gay marriage ABOVE these other causes.
I don't prioritize gay marriage over these causes--yes, it's true, I'm working on a marriage equality campaign.
I'm also working on trying to help queer students at UMF and in the community gain adequate health care, jobs, housing, and feel safe and comfortable on our campus. Have I succeeded? I don't know. We are nowhere near where we need to be. But I think, maybe even just a little bit, we are closer than we were when I first came to Farmington. And that's something.

So stop fucking judging me when you know next to nothing about me. It's hurtful, it's offensive, and it puts you in a damn shitty light. Maybe, just maybe, you should get off your goddamned high horse and actually DO something besides judging people who you think aren't doing enough.