Family Conversations: My Anti-Anti-Drug

I'm thinking of writing a play:

Sister: Oh! Periods hurt!
Self: I haven't had one since December.
Sister: What, why? Are you pregnant?
Self: No, the last time I had sex was in October.
Mother: With who?
Self: The person I was dating in October.
Sister: Oh! Him. I mean her. Did you guys have normal sex?
Self: What?
Sister: Like, p to v?
Self: Yes, we had penis to vagina sex.
Sister: Ew! You could just say p to v!
Mother: I thought you didn't like sex?
Self: I have a very high sex drive, actually. I'm pretty much constantly horny.
Sister: why would you not like sex?
Mother: Because of her experiences.
Sister: Oh! ...did you want it this time?
Self: Yes of course.
Sister: Did you like it?
Mother: Yeah, did you?
Self: I spent 2 hours in the shower afterwards, but yeah, at the time. It's cool. She dumped me anyway.
Mother: That's what I figured. You aren't ready to have sex with people.
Sister: Why wouldn't you like sex?

Evenings are interesting...